Wow, good thing he let me know!

I'm indebted to Mark Noonan at Blogs For Bush for his latest article. After I drop out of grad school, I'll pause in all of my free time and think of him fondly, because he has freed me from the death grip of science:

Not too long ago the blogosphere was rocking with the great debate of Intelligent Design vs Darwinism. It was an interesting debate, though I doubt much that anyone had the mind changed. Be that as it may, the whole thing got me thinking, and today ii occured to me: science is dead. We have reached the end of the Age of Science - what will come after, I don't know, but I don't think that we'll ever again have a time when Science is enshrined as some sort of god-like arbiter of right and wrong.

Welp, I guess my only choice is to quit, then. Mark has helpfully told me that the reason that science is dead is because all those mean old scientists stopped telling the truth. Some of them even [gasp] perpetrated hoaxes, which were then no doubt exposed as frauds by roving bands of College Republicans. Where did scientists go so wrong, Mark?

I think it is because we ceased educating the men of science [I'm sure this was just an oversight, all you women of science out there - TDC] with a knowledge of religion - a knowledge, that is, of genuine truth, genuine reason, and the relationship of man to creation, and his Creator.

A-ha! When I was getting my bachelor's degree, I remember thinking that all of those religion classes I was forced to take (thanks, Jesuits!) were a waste of time, and boring as fuck to boot. I couldn't imagine why a biochemistry major should have to take upper division classes in religious studies. Now I see, that's just what scientists wanted me to think. I should have been grateful to that chainsmoking nun who taught me comparitive religion or whatever.

When science became a narrowly forcused search for something immediately practical, it was bound to eventually be hijacked by people who wanted to use the cover of science for very impractical efforts.

Like inventing internets and creating human-animal hybrids. Bastards.

Keep in mind that communism, once upon a time, was considered irrefutable because it was supposedly hard-nosed science about the human condition and destiny - the crackpot theories of an out of touch German intellectual were peddled as if they were on par with the theory of gravity.

GAAAAAHHHHHCOMMIES!!!111!!!!!!!

Clearly, those commie bastards were insane. I mean, trusting a German intellectual for insights into humanity and science? Bah! Give me first century Arab shepherds any day.

So that's that. Mark has convinced me of the error of my ways, and I will be dropping out of grad school at my earliest possible convenience. I wonder if Staples will give me my old job back? I sold a mean Palm Pilot, back in the day. I bet I could still qualify for my job digging holes to put in lampposts, too. Not much science involved in that - shovels and picks have been around even longer than the Bible! But not longer than 6000 years, mind you.

Tags: Mark Noonan, science is dead, quitting grad school